January 1, 1885
The two trees Chri New years evening were beautiful. Never had such nice things. Brighton & Fulton & BrigdeWater leading it. I Sat back until called Up to fix the doll difficulty. not enough dolls although 31 beautiful little bonnets & [illegible]. but I doubt if any one feels the least grateful for any of the things. & such nice bonnets & aprons for My Women. Mrs Enos who has not been in S for a year made her appearance today. of course expecting her present. Mrs L. Lucy & all the expelled ones received all the Same. The spirit of the Lord seemed to be among Us during the Meetings & working especially among the long haired Wanderers. Tukas. stepped to the front & confessed his Sins the Same night Harry Hays did but how very Weak the poor things on one point. Edward Was married the Same evening. how long they have held out. the bride had one child in her arms under her blanket & I think two of the Older ones were sitting on the floor. two couples stood up together the next Night. Men both had blankets on. Job was one of the Joseph Band. has been among the Siouxs. & So I have given Up My large bible Class to R. & Sit Silent. he was anxious for it perhaps will not feel comfortable. I gave it up but at the same time feel the Lord took it from Me for Not having his dear Son more in the teaching. Just as he emptied My S. room. He makes this things plain to Me if others cannot see.

Feb 28^th 1885
What a pleasant little S. I have had this Winter & it has been profitable to them I think. the quilt & quilting the crochet. & the baking think nearly the whole   community bake light bread now. Mrs F had a spell & flited? out but came back led by the Lord. the other S. has been pleasant & that accounts some for Mine. Just now the gossip is that Annie W. & Soyappo are going to send us off. I fear there is more back of this. Such a place of Scheaming.. the S.S. which was so hard for Me to give up has gone on only two days. I have been Silent R throat was not strong enough. I am thinking Pauls life is used as a whip & the lessons are [illegible] Since the council threatening to bind R. But how much this poor people need bible knowledge. the notive Ministry need more help than they are willing to receive. & can it be Gen. Gordon has been killed. the Lord has a purpose even in this. His ways are past finding out. but the world is in a volcanic State with plots of wickedness rife & England Must suffer as Rusia. Jenet W has quite surprised Me by her regularity. every thing pleasant with Mrs & Mr S. this winter. how I dread the [illegible] Spring.

March 16^th 1885
What a beautiful day although the morning clouds tumbled us so fearing We could not see the Eclipse of the sun. begining here at 8 1/2 A M. I smoked a piece of glass & Sent Mary Jonhston out to Sit & watch the sun from the kitchen window in their usual quiet Way she said Wako. now, then the next thing was to move out some seats. & Whenever a woman or little Girl rec^d her darkened glass she took her seat as an observer. Sent for poor Mrs Peter fearing she was alone & notwithstanding Robert gave it out yesterdy many would be afraid. Peter followed he & Luke sat on the stiles. Mrs Felix thought her glass very poor & Poor Mrs Calebs eyes were so sore from Crying She could not see very well. Sarah was glad to be among them as for Fanny H. & Jane they had little to Say. After we came in I tried to explain the phenomena took placed Mrs Sol. as sun I was the earth & Delia Moon. revolving around Me then the Sun as the centre of our Sustem was put upon the board how I tried to Show them the greatness of the Maker & preserver of all these works. & our littleness but like ants. We read 14 verse of 1^st Genesis Saying they should be for signs as well as seasons. then read 24 ^chap of Mathew Mr S Mathew, 29.30.31 verses. the great eclipse preceeding the coming of Jesus. After Solomen came from S. I could hear Mrs S. do as she always does tell him everything she gets. & found Sue had explained it all to the Men but the poor things they are so easily puffed up. doubtless they think this is all. as I was walking up by Billys this evening met Bills Mother & with all her independence as she ride past Said Yes she Saw it but she had a little heart.

Kamiah April 2^nd 1885
What a wonder land this is & has been to Me. how quickly result & causes follow each other. A letter has been rec^d from T. B. telling of the Agents complaint to Dr L. What will the Dr think. Mr D. has just explained the other complaints about Me. I fear there is Much more than the Agents complaint on hands. from the air of My White neighbors. how many plots are on fine - time only Will reveal. poor thing poor thing My heart is always saying.  but No word of warning would be taken. She has pursued daily & hourly the Enemy that the Wonder is that the crisis did not come long ago. Until this matter go to Pres. for investigate & Will there be a called Pres. as in the Spaulding case. Oh Lord forbid. & if John Mr M oppinion is given. My two dreams a month apart! is strange indeed. Will I be sent off too. Oh how many questions My aching heart is asking? God the All Wise only can Answer. May the blessing be gotten out of it all. before Thee Oh Lord let the heart of Us both bow & say it is Just right & good. had a good Sab. Sol & Mrs. S. came to spend Sab. so We read much. Oh Oh but it would be hard to leave this people I am so happy among them. I would not exchange my front seat in Church for the a fine cushened one in the East. let Me say even if the tears Will come. Thy Will be done thy Will be done.

May the 5^th 1885
Mrs. Solomen is off to the farm this afternoon & it seems good to be alone. So much a long Solitude tends to make us What We are. Presbtery is over. Wonderful revelations of political Movements revealed there. Silas & W^m W. the missionaries there removed to make room for Archie. W^m W. & Peter Lindsley to go to Spokans or at least so appointed doubt if they will go. Silas & Enoch to be at Lap with Mr Deffenbaugh. Robert & James here. Archie had calls from Spokans & Umatilla’s & very nearly one from Lapwai. Oh if Self was only kept under here. Such Wonderful ambition for honors & what is it. any where & here of all places. Do not Understand Mr D’s Silence. Do not know what changes may come or are to be made here. not a word from Dr L. to See yet. My S. keeps Up So much better this spring than I expected. the Monteiths & Sol on this side yet. & When Sol’s are in My house have a full school for it is S. evening as well as morning. Sunday as well as Saturday. Word has come today that Amelia Lindsley is dead at Forest Grove. I hope for dear Nancy’s Sake it is not so. how they love their children. all their affections centre in them Abie has given up her work & friends. I do not see the use of keeping always these same women in S. Some of them are as pompous as the Men now.

May 23^d 1885
At home today because of Arecypelas [erysipelas] how grateful I should feel that it is not worse. have been enjoying Grekies? Life of Christ. One thought above all others suggests much the Jews although rejecting the Babe of Bethlahem thought the Mesiah was then in the World hidden & if they would repent. but for One day he Would Appear their Sins hid him. is it not so now. it is much more historical book than I imagined it. how richly such Men must be repaid for such research. Cooks lectures or any then written to prove the divinity of Christ or Christianity I turn from as Useless. the reality of the blessed Redeemer & his doctrine needs no proof to Me. Thanks be unto My god for the assurance. W^m Wheeler & Wife have been here in My house or rather in Solomens. Am pleased with W^ms submissive Spirit. he is willing to go to Spokans. starts on Wednesday. he & Peter are the appointed ones. strange if something does not interfere to prevent Peter - but W^m & Amelia could stay three years at Umatilla Without comeing home once. can go this new station perhaps. Just such discipline is needed (the calling of Archie by Umatillas) to keep Silas & W^m & humble Me. We all have more of the Missionary spirit willing to go where he sends. With the parting words of Jesus sounding in Our ears Lo I am with you even Unto the end.

May 24^th 1885
What a fearful day this has been in Kamiah. Robert before the Council for pahwit. Martha Says nearly three years ago when they were in Camp this happened & it never came out until Now. the10 Judges say he must pay $100.00 & for What. the head Judge is an Old bitter enemy. Oh how true they keep hatred long in the heart. Yesterdy all but one Women went out of the bible Class. What fearful Work. equal to St Pauls trials. God help him to bear it all. I think the Church will divide. Well his poor Wife does not doubt him. Sue has had a terrible day. What will come of this is yet to be seen but the Lord is above it all

June 5^th 1885
My house never looked sweeter than it does today. My box wash stand Splasher & glass looks so nice. & the many pretty things sent by dear friends. out today for Mr Deffenbaugh & brother are to come up With the Agent. & as Mrs S. is still in My house Will invite them to stay with Me which will be a relief to Mrs Crea. but Oh how depressed in Spirits for Daniel told there has to be some great preacher from the East to send Us off the Reservation perhaps in Answer to Agents request. I think often of the two dreams I had a month apart.  She only escaped with her life. Oh that it is folly to plot & counterplot any where. Where can We look but to the hills Whence cometh Our help.

Kamiah June 9^th 1885
I sit here in My bed room looking over evrey little while to the closed door of the little church. We are both praying much for Poor Robert is on trial before the Ministers & Elders of the Whole reservation. & Mr D. the Agent is there too. he was tried some two weeks before the indian Court for pahwit of the heart & fined $100.00. Mr D. is showing that he is not to be put aside without some difficulty & Presbytey is still back of Mr D. this ought to cure the going off & camping in in a common tent. it seems all trouble comes at once. What I have passed through in a few days. Oh. Oh. the sabath trial of the Agent before so many strangers about the White teachers. I wonder how I sat through it on My front Seat. had no idea until now that I was accused of Medling. his last words were he would use all means in his power to rid the Reservation of Such influences. God help us for Man would Swallow Us up. Sue saw his letter to the Department. Still the Church door is closed. Oh what a feeling of insecurity in a community where truth is so little set by. perfected through sufferings surely some of his children Will be. Charlotte is home & it is good to hear her laugh. she shows her training at Forest Grove. What they all need. Some of the Joseph Band were in Church Sab. & in the evening Tom Hill spoke of their sorrowful exile & how full of praise his heart was for Gods goodness in bringing them back. then he went down full length on the floor his mouth litteraly in the dust & offered his prayer of thanks giving.

Kamiah June 10^th 1883
Robert was acquitted. how much We have to be thankful for. the whole day until after 6 OC. I waited supper for Mr D. but Sue in her Joy had given him his supper. When Solomen came I Just opened the door & his face was enough. Mishame was his first word & gave Me his hand in the evening. he sat telling Me about the wonders of the day. they had never seen witnesses Sworn before. never. or the other witnesses sent out & one at a time examined Sitsints. A was not allowed to speak. Robert was sent home after being sworn. 12. Said he is innocent 1. guilty. 1 could not decide & One Silent. it was found all were relations all. Now What will they Say or do. Mr D. has done Wonders to Stand for the defence so hardily & conduct the Whole thing with such dignity. Oh God has ruled & overruled it all - & Made plain his care of his own. Met R today in Sues he did not look exulting but subdued & thankful. It will be blessed to him & I trust A warning to liars. truly the witnesses did not agree. Mr D is happy & all. not all. No camp meeting at Cold Springs. What a disappointment.

July 3^d 1885
Tired. been baking all forenoon for 4^th July dinner 200 cookies & snaps & perhaps few will be under the great tent which I see is set up back of the church. very likely R. & Felix going. the work themselves nearly every went at Lapwai Camp Meeting. May the Lord Meet them every one in Mercy. I do not much wonder that they Wanted to go for the exiles from Indian Ter. Will be there. Archie & Umatillas have been there camping near the Fort for two or three Weeks. All fourth here have been times of Anxiety & this 4^th My sixth here, seems the One in which there is most to be anxious about the cause of Christ & Ourselves. if they should be spoken of separately. Sue yesterday from Felixes. talk With Alikawd. thinks the Martha is not over. Robert Must pay his fine & then the Appeal to Washington. Will start an investigation into the troubles here. it is so good to feel God is able to confound the Counsels of Jhetopel  & restrain the enemy who has it in his heart to send us from the Res. disgraced. with all these clouds around there is a some way or other `He can provide.’ He Who hath led will lead. He Who hath fed will feed" & if spared to see an other 4^th July will look back & trace in all his loving hand & tender care. but at times I feel he will let this go on & from it establish a more liberal state of things. help Me from the heart to Say thy will be done. Thy Will be done. Lord care for My dear ones. Roby - hold him & bind him With the bands of thy love. how many anxious 4^th dear Mother had for him. that too is past. 12 Julys in heaven blessed blessed Mother. Not dead to Us.

July 12^th 1885
James Hayes preached & Superintended the full S. S. the Church was crowded. many of Joseph band & Lapwains & Umatillas on the way to the Old Kames  ground. Poor R. went alone to Lap yesterday. Mr D. wanted to see him before his trial. poor fellow the Agent says he cannot take a way his fine. he must be tried before the Judges. J one of them & then before Agent. of couse he will be condemed.   poor fellow how rich in humility love & I hope faith he will be when this fierce storm is passed. & We - Sue & I - ought to be the same for the same storm encircles Us all. I think in My case without any cause. Man would crush us to the earth. Oh Lord make bare Why Arm for our deliverance. God help us or We are gone. James today read where Jesus told his disciples they would be brought before the Judges. & at the close of Calebs talk J rose & tamapiked how heavy his heart was that Our Minister was without home. what Paul & Timothy like love between Robert & James. & James the John of the disciples here surprised Me with his bravery in showing his heart to R enemies.
Moses’ sermon was a needed one. the cry of Many has been the had or would be poisoned by taking the bread & Wine from R hands. & that they were poisoned. Moses showed this could not be. every one stood in the Judgment for themselves. he has had a good study With the Mother today & I thought with all her faults What a great work she has done. they are so sound in doctrine Moses Said Innika  said the [illegible].

July 19^th 1885
I ought to be ashamed for My little faith. Robert was not condemned by Lap council. but sent home free. truly any heart the most determined is in & under His control. today the Church was full. full now I suppose many who had faces turned from him will be very gracious. poor things they go hither & thither like a flock of Sheep. Mary had her gloves on today. one of the Elders of Josephs people was rec^d as Elder here. R questioned out of Confession of Faith faithfully as she taught it & as faithfully did our father cling to it. R. does not have the look of a conquerer but of a Christian with his faith strengthened. Oh Oh. it is little wonder he said one prayer meeting with blinding tears. You know that was [illegible]. the worst is past I hope for him. (but for Us.) but . He who was able to deliver One is able to deliver two more. J sat back today. R this evening Spoke beautifuly of the handwriting of Ordinances being blotted out With the blood stained hand of Jesus.  illustrated forcibly by the [illegible] books. with the articles of endebtedness & the name of Debtor. the Lord is caring for My dear ones. May he answer My prayers for Spiritual things for them & Us in the midst of all this sorrow. the Sisters hearts have beeen drawn together. answer to prayer in His own Wise way although hard perhaps it was the only way.

 Kamiah July 29. 1885
Today the Ladies Society of Steubenville meets
Have Just come from Sues. there met Robert & Solomen to tell & talk over the pic nic yesterdy. I thought as I rode along the trails now by the river then on the mountains Single file With the people in their gay clothing & pretty ponies both before & behind Me fording the river Six times the great Mountains welling in the grain fields of the beautiful Valley. I thought I would write many letters from it. but little did We know what the day would bring forth. had been on the ground perhaps an hour. gone from one group to another & as they Sat under the tent covers or bushes. Men had gone to kill the beef. & the Women had placed the food for the dinner in the Arber made for the table. When all of a Sudden pistol shots were heard & Soon the policemen (four) had attempted to take Alex H he resisted. Ninepipes & Dick came to his help. Alex was shot in the head & fell as dead. Ninepipes shot through the body. for a time I did not know what was going to come of it. perhaps a general fight & I the only white on the ground. Yellow Bear was walking & in an excited manner harranguing the people. Harry H. was taken off the ground. Tom H. talked to the people & said they were acting according to law. R told them to stop & leave the ground. they did but returned & their speeches were made in the Saddle. Would not get off to eat. thought perhaps they might be struck in the back. It seems they all Jimmy & all started for L. to tell the Agent. the dinner was forgotten for a time & in the mean time the wildest rumers got among them that the Soldiers were coming & So on So it was decided not to wait for the meat but take what was there cakes & pies & Start for home at once for fear of more trouble. Nine pipes set naked all this time down by the river. Alex in leggins & flowing hair tied behind with red rose & walked to the river stopping every few steps. then there was great hollering for the people to get away from before him. Mrs Sol. explained that they have a superstition to look upon one shot with a gun or pistol. the one who looks will die. so I could understand then the running to get out of his way. before we left they brought Nine pipes up & carried his body for he wanted to take the hand of his friends for the last time. I Just now asked a passer by & he still living likely on the pic nic grounds yet. for it was thought he could not be moved. & all this trouble from Moses B wealth. horses. horses. how kind of Mrs. S. Mother to give Me her packing horse to return. So that I am not so tired as before. such a picture loping along in a hail storm fording the river when it must. No Wonder the Men under shelter of a tree laughed as I came up on the other side clothes ringing not from rain. sun bonnet clapped in around my face & My knees astride hard to keep covered with My wet clothes. I hope the Lord will let both these poor Men live & repent. both have been sukayuken. poor Mary H. & children did not go near. what sorrow some of these poor Women have. dear little Mrs Norton was there with her four children & her fine looking husband off with another Woman. Oh how tired when I came to the river but a young Man came over with the caneu for Mary. did not want too. Now I think I could ride up the way to Mt I if necessary. horse back. think there must have been 500 at the pic nic.

Sab. communion Sab Aug 2^nd 1885
The day draws to a close peacefully. & how full of dread what it might bring forth. Just as I stepped of My door for Water Saw three horsemen coming. police men knew they had been riding all night from L. and three more horses brought in to stable. Saw one was the Dr. & guessed right that the Agent had arrivd. in about an hour the three returned with another knew from his hair he was Mishama. early as they arrivd Sunrise they put the hand cuffs on Harry H. & brought him over. the Agent I think intends to subdue as I went along to church. With something of the feeling of the Old Covenanters not knowing but blood would be shed perhaps at Church. I did not want Sue to go out for she would be a good mark from behind the bushes. Was told on the way Nine pipes was not. poor fellow died there on the pic nic grounds. two days to repent only. his Mother Elder Jims Wife died at Noon & he in the evening. What a tender congregation with two of its No. lying dead. to Me it was a near commune. read in the Morning Gekies description of the last supper in Jerusalem. Jimmie & Wife was not there. he of cource tired from his ride from Lapwai. but What will tomorrow bring fourth. of cource a council & the funerals of Mother & Son. & perhaps Alex death. What fearful times these are. Lord Jesus thou alone can bring peace & quiet. do all Missionaries have such seasons of Anxiety & peril?

Aug. 4^th
the people are gathering this bright morning to the trial of the policemen for shooting of Alex & Ninepipes. they have enjoyed the trial of others. rewards & punishments here. Lonnie & Tom Hill have had a long talk in the stable now at the Mess with the Agent. the letter about us is gone to Washington have had great nearness this Morn through 120 & 121 Psalmn.

Aug 10^th 1885
Nearly a week has passed since the Council but I have had No heart to make an entry - for the Council was mostly about the White teachers. the Police only rebuked. Might have known from the way the people rode home with heads down & No one wanted to See Us. Went over Wednesdy found sue packing. She Said there was no other way. We must go as Agent is Supreme. Said he announced I was his enemy - but did not specify. have been expecting Police every day to notify us to leave. I cannot yet realize this can be possible for I am innocent of charges. & feel certain I cannot be found among the people. although there are two or three uncertain looking faces. but God is not uncertain & at times I am doubtful because of the shrewdness of the enemy. As though He who has all means at his command cannot deliver poor Sue. how it is telling on her. fear when it is all over she will be done. now brave & writing her defence to Washington in all this darkness I feel My prayers of last year are answered our hearts drawn together. but how can We leave this dear people who seem more & more tender as the clouds gather - accused of causing insubordination to Authority. Lord Save or we perish is Our Peter like prayer. for Man would swallow us up. Oh how bitter. bitter.  When can We get out of here & Will there be Any investigation or simply the command go. I can turn the book pages of this book & of My life & Say Hitherto hath the Lord led. & F. R. Havregil sweetly Says He who hath led will lead & then Roberts late deliverance ought to make faith strong. Marth has confessed all a falsehood about R. & Mrs L has confessed her sins. if Whites were only as tender it would be more hopeful. God be merciful to Us all. & give Us forgiving hearts. What a great work Sue has done here. Robert & James Hays are monuments. but what of Mine?

Aug 12^th 1885
Have Just come from Sues. packing up. expect to start for Mt I. tomorrow poor thing she knows she is bidding good bye to her beloved K. Will she reach Mt I. her strength seems gone. Was there ever as devoted a Missionary. I have Just played on My God given Organ "I know not what awaits Me. & it is well." I try to think Jesus is coming to Us walking on these fierce billows. Oh for faith to wait. faith to trust he will not leave Us. What do people do who have No Jesus. how glad We would be to be permitted to return to this loved spot & Work. Help us from the heart to Say thy Will be done.

Sep  26^th  [sic] Aug 26th ?
A quiet Sab. Not very many there but know the men have not gone to Lap to see the Inspector. So many look sadly at Me. as if Sorry I am alone among them or am soon to be sent away. & I am trusting trusting in the One able to deliver. Well I know all arts will be tried to accomplish the end but the battle to the strong is not given while the Judge of right & wrong Sits in heaven"
Parsons & Moses M. preached. I thought as I listened Sues work will go on even if not permitted to teach here. A great work indeed it has been but narrow or rather upon the few. Billy addressed the S. S. dear Billy. I know the Lord loves him. been reading the Lost Tribes. Victoria on Davids throne. America Manassah. not profitable. turn to Half Hours with the Lessen & turn from this to the Very fountain. Moses took dinner with Me on his way up the river to preach. Lord bless us all. Oh how We do need Thee.

Sep 26^th 1885 Kamiah
Home from My visit to Mrs Campbell now nearly two weeks. have not had the heart to write her that malicious falsehood about Us & Millers child going the rounds, of the papers shown to Me at Mrs Fee’s. Oh Oh the wickedness of the wicked & they all the time friendly to Me. I slept the first night in Sue’s house. so as to pack things for her nice new home in Mt I. which she bought. poor thing her heart is in K I know.  but no one could tell her in all these years it would come to this. will not come back until all this trouble is settled. the Inspector is in council at Lap. today - inspecting I suppose both charges. the people against Agent & Agents charges against Us. both the Whites are there Mrs C. alone. the people all who would be likely to befriend Us. Sol. Robert, James H. & all special friends are away on the Mountains. but Kip K P, Hugh J. Allen & such are there. (No Mr D. - bringing home his bride - but with all this the blessed Comforter has told Me again & again this morning there is no need for human help. Davids God & Ours is all sufficient. this very morning directed My eyes to the lines "But the battle to the strong - is not given- While the Judge of right & wrong Sits in heaven" All the maneuvering & falsehood cannot accomplish their ends when He is on our side. His own cause is warped with Us poor unworthy Ones. Will the Inspector come to K. I cannot see but for today.  Oh hold My hand tight Father tight - the whole cause is before Thee now. help Me to Say Thy will be done" What a silence reigns in this Valley. but a few women here. Am looking for Mrs Campell but have a nearer & dearer Friend who keeps & comforts Me night & day. Harry Hays very low. loves The Lords My Shepherd & So do I.

 Oct. 4^th Kamiah 1885
Another beautiful Sab. more of the people have come home. but so glad Dr Ellenwood has not come yet for Robet & James are still away & Felix & Jimmy & others [illegible] Billy was glad to see me enter alone. for No one would pay him for hunting Robert. What Dr E- will do - come alone? & Oh how am I to entertain him? Our lesson today was the practical one of Elisha leading the blind Syrians into Samaria - & his reply to the Kings question. Set bread & water before them. how this people need this lesson. & I to have My eyes opened to See that they that be for Us are more than they "who are against Us. the coming of Dr E. I fear is turning My eyes towards the fury more than to Him who is coming walking on the billows to Me. I think he is sending Dr E.   Oh let him not hide My Masters face! have been reading the Last Ten Tribes again -- Queen Victoria on Davids Throne -  the Anglo Saxons the lost Tribes. Americans Manassah. Oh Lord make a plain path before Me about My Work. Sue still in Mt I. Billy is ashamed but such work if she comes back. will have to move her things. think the Agent is not to be removed. the Inspector could See from H. J M. talk the Miller at the root of all this trouble.

Oct. 20th
Oh Oh the disappointment. Dr E came 4 days at Lap. the Miller sent for & he & Dr substantiated charges. truly the Lord shows Me that deliverance is not to come in My Way. Sue is to have her S. in Mt I & Dr E suggests My going to Lap among the women for a time. at first My heart nearly broke. but is mended now & wait a letter from Mr D. to know if I will be allowed to go. Rachel & Enoch willing to go with Me. dear tired friends but what could be done in Lap - where women do not want school.

Nov 20^th Kamiah [sic] Probably written between October 20 and Oct 25.
What is the Lap Police up for Jakin himpa eknin. but what perhaps to Me. looks as if it had been another all night ride. how these Police frighten Me. the idea. No letter from Mr D. doubtless [illegible] will want Me near to watch Me. the Malicans falsehood is traced to a Dayton man think he is the Millers cousin. My last winter dream vivid still before Me. think Sue is in the eddy although Dr E & Dr L. think she will be expelled if on R. what days I have had over in her house packing & recalling my thoughts as I sat there five years ago crying. poor human would not listen to either Mr D or myself - the Persuer went & pushed his cause at Synod - & will if possible tread the Worms to death. faith is weak & Staggering now & in the darkness I grope. Saying Where is He from whom our only help can come. Some nights do not sleep at all. & Sit with a wandering mind & heart. Oh that I was more like David. My verse this morning. Let not them who seek thy face be ashamed for My Sake.

Kamiah Oct 25 1885
Mr D. reply came yesterday evening. come next week if you can - you can go into Parkers house until the Dep is heard from about the Fort house. you will be near us & we will help make you comfortable. So kind. the tears fell fast as I thought I would be a kind of State prisoner. & that it would be so hard to see so often the man who has hurt My heart so. but perhaps this too is needed in My discipline. I feel the spices flowing out a little today & am so glad for. O h! My poor wandering heart has felt so hard - I did not sleep but was able to appear before the congregation tolerably & before the happy Whites. Robert announced My going & the first thought with the little ones was No Christmas tree. poor children yes they shall have it. I think now this is the plain path & Lap is so full of people surely some will be willing to be instructed & I ought to be prepared to give it meekly. but how I will long for My Kamiah which is going to be so empty if the S. go to M.I  to school. I do thank the lord for calmer feelings & a willingness to do thy Will.

Kamiah Nov 1^st 1885
My last Sab. for a time at least in dear K where I have shed so many tears but have such sweet communion with Jesus. & with the Father whom I did not know very well until led to the back side of the desert. I love to Say our Father who art in heaven after I am in bed. what a priviledge to Say Our. & be led to feel his great loving heart. few out to church today. I was late & notwithstanding all effort the tears came fast. the children were told they should have their papers & Christmas tree. R told the Christians they must pray now for fear darkness would come upon them again now since the sent Ones were to be taken away. I will pray for the light to grow lighter Jimmie & the foreman I saw coming out of the bushes. & Met Police. the poor one in Mt I. does not know that her S. which she has planned is to be stopped. Such bitterness I fear is going to follow her to the grave. & Oh what my I have to undergo at L. My the Lord give wisdom & grace, & make Me a blessing there & water the seed sown here. I think sometimes now self is dead. dead. L. will try the truth of it if I can meet the One whom I feel has so deeply injured Us. Lord Jesus do not leave Me for one minute. Am to live right opposite. how I dread the two nights of camping. What purging My character has needed that nothing less than all this would do. Oh Lord take this poor people under thy wings & hide them in the Rock of Ages. Will I ever see K again "Thy Will be done. Thy Will be done"

Nov 9^th 1885 Lapwai
My first Sab in My home in Lapwai. Church at Garrison & too far for Me to walk in the mud. how wonderfly the Lord cared for Us on our journey from K this Week. rain & snow & tenting two nights on the wet ground & not sick not even the tooth ache. surely the Lord has work for Me to do here. & surely I am ready for it. an humbled crushed heart from which the fragrance offered  from his own grace will flow out. have not seen any of the Agents family. best to be alone with My tired Friend. think will not find companionship in the New Mrs D. nor do I need it if the Lord will [give] Me a school & & His dear presence. what else do I crave. Will have Rachel & Martha to begin with. May I have wisdom & God given power to lead these poor Women into long dresses & Christian ways. We need Just such a class here as K. to teach in S. S. & go before the rest. Mr D. is so kind in attending to all My wants. poor Sue in Mt I. & are We separated in work forever. why was I not more patient. here in the house Parker left the bars on the Windows but Wooden ones. Oh how I wish the church was built & be at work in S. S. Many of the dear Kamiah people camping near the Fort start back tomorrow. Tom Hill. was too sick from Policemans wound for the sheriff to take him to Mt I. where will this end. Read 119 Psalm. how many precious things in it. Davids loving the Judgements so puzzles Me. May I be led into the secret of the Lord as he was. I am so dull in comprehending spiritual things with all My training. My Organ & home pictures make Me feel at home. not one thing broken on the Way. these mountains are so bare & Sinai like. So different from the park like surroundings of K. May God Our God dwell there & here come Jesus & abide under My roof & in My heart always always. 

Lapwai Nov. 19^th 1885
Two weeks tomorrow since I landed in L. Mrs D. has not been in My house yet as any other White but Mr D. perhaps he too will have to stay away. Dr E. thought I would be so alone in K. alone among a people who cared for Me. no, no, Was church at Fort. walked. it was good to be there although the people have not the good open faces the K’s have or dress like them. blankets & short dresses here. began S. yesterday fearing I would not have One. but the Lord Sent Me three women first. then Cap Kanes grand-daughter & Mrs Titus. today Edwards Wife & daughter. the knitting pleases them I think. the Lord is making a path for Me here. some more are to come. if God My God abides with Me & work is given Me to do that Will be society enough. the people all meet Me so kindly. poor Sue sitting in Mt I. without a school. Why does the Lord permit all this. the purging, pruning & bruising? still goes on. let sorrow do its work how light our trials will appear when past. & nevermore to return. I was surprised to find daylight when I waked this morning think the first night for six months I have slept the night through without waking. some nights slept none. but I have to cry out when I find all manner of bitter things in My heart. put it away put it away Lord. Oh that He May make My hands & feet & life beautiful here for him not a mite would I withhold. Oh the Wind the wind always blowing around My lonely house here. none or seldom at K. God help Me to forget My wrongs & remember Davids & his enemies & his strength & comforts.

Lapwai. Thanksgiving 1885
Not seen any one but a few Indians strolling around & the workmen on the roof of the church. they finished shingleing on this Side. have not been crying or very lonely today although So perfectly alone so far as Whites are concerned. if I was disreputable I could not be more isolated but I have God & My work & health & what more do I need. Mrs. D. not yet in My house. two years ago today. the first Mrs D. made her appearance here. this one is quite different. had greater nearness to My Father through Jesus this morning than I have had for a long time & Oh how I need it for sarcastic bitter things come often. poor Dr. Jackson too has been feeling the enemys grip. the No & strength of his friends will be tried. have not seen Agent yet do not know what is going on. Met Mrs M at Mr D’s. How dignified Mrs Molley was on Sab. heart has been in the little Church at Kamiah & the little cottage home. & poor Sue in Mt I. is I know lonely for her children. it Seems strange after So may years of usefulness all this darkness should come over her but it can be traced to her own enmity to the Lawyers. then A & M. taking it up & doing what they were not able to accomplish - What will this year bring forth. to the Nez P. & their Missionaries. had a good dinner all to My self.. wished the Lord would Send some Old Indian Woman to eat with Me but He did Not. Mrs Edward & daughter were led yesterday into the intricacies of turning heels. tomorrow it is yeast. poor Mrs Titus I think is sent to Me to get more light for the end of her Journey. so sickly Just six pupils yet. Mrs C will soon be here unpopularity does not affect her friendship. God given friend. make Me such to these Women

Lapwai Dec 14^th 1885
I said to night to Me & Mrs D. is not God good to give me such a nice S. 12. women today & the two little ones. Am beginning to see Gods plan in taking Me from K. Dr E writes he would mix much of the secular with the instruction. Oh dear how little any one knows how much of the Secular is in My S. the picture today would show this Annie & Mrs Titus teaching the two new ones how to knit. Mrs Edwards comfort on the table. two more of the Women kniting. not one of them know how to thread a darning needle. the Unfolding of the cotton a wonder & while this was going on dear little Mrs Noah took out some of her beautiful light bread for her children. Rachel said hers was not good but all the rest good.
I see by Dr E’s letter I am not going back to K. only on visits. I will be very happy here if I have plenty of work which seems likely to be the case. George Moses wife here until late learning to knit. Says Silas has got much yarn from Lewiston. they love to knit so May I reach many hearts outside of My S. Was down to the Fort to Church yesterday the second time since I came. walked down but Peter Kane brought Me back. how kindly all the people do meet Me. God making a way for Me in their hearts.

Lapwai Christmas 1885
It blew so hard all night I could not sleep & My wandering mind was every where. home troubled A not working. then Kamiah how Methodist like they were in the little church singing & bearing witness until 12 oclock. fifty three Christmas’s. how patient the Lord has been since the stockings were hung from the nails of the high mantel in the old home. the Journy almost over. got My christmas presents from the Lord. store & many things Edward brought out all from Him. I felt I had not been trying to make others happy. how little of that I have done. this morning early Rachel came for her red yarn for Enochs mittens. so I got a good dinner & we had a pleasant day. talked much of Kamiah friends. Amy Annie & their friend came how the Edwards are improving. how much there is to encourage Me. Almost ready to say right was the pathway leading to this. have 12. pupils now. poor Sue how many has she in Mt Idaho.  how changed. she used to have so many calls in the little Kamiah home. perhaps in an other Christmas. new Missionaries in K. can they love the people more than We have done? Will this be the last tree there. how I long to know about it. how little We dreampt of the troubles of this year last Christmas. God kindly veils our eyes. raining thunder & lightning this evening strange Oh that the Lord will make this a blessed year to Us all & through the precious blood open the door into the heart of evry dear one at home & here.