Jan. 3^d 1883
What a quiet pleasant New Year yesterday was. church in the Morning. many there although bitter cold. I wanted to get out fast for Mary & Abram were to take dinner with Me. the River nerely frozen over. but Allen the police Man had his back to the door & enjoyed the hand shaking & happy New Year Hugo Milligan stopped Me Saying Our friend Miss Kate happy New Year. there Seemes to be a disposition among his Set Church Ward & Such a kindly feeling between Robert & his people. think I understand it & that they all Understand his position & that the power to divide is broken. the Meetings have been So free & spirited they think the best Since the gospel came among them. What an overflowing S S. hope James Hays will be able to hold his young Men. hope all went off Well at Lapwai their first tree.
the Sled ride was a very quiet one. Jasin & Moses Bryd in command. did not go past Sues. poor thing how changed. & how bravely She bears it. the fourth new years from My dear ones. what a hungry heart now comes at times over Me. May the Lord Jesus keep his own loving arm around My boy My Own Pet darling boy. & do great things for all the dear ones. & for My own poor Needy Soul. Oh how much of bitterness fills it. the last teackers Meeting Not So good perhaps was puffed up.

Jan 26 1883
If I would allow myself I would be lonely this dark Sab evening away off here in this field at the foot of the Mountain for Mr & Mrs Sol. are away most evry evening until late. So different from Rachel & Enoch. perhaps they are over at the old log house with Johns poor little Sick boys. he is not afraid of Me. Wakens & asks where Miss Kate is. Our S room was full of Men & Women friday. Robert & James Write the question from the Board. think We are not reviewing enough but most afraid to Make a Suggestion to Robert. Oh but this is a privilege to direct not only the children in Spiritual things but that Whole interested Congregation. What dignity of Manner Robert has in the Midst of Allen the Police Mans talk about Something not in place in the church. R rose & said [illegible] that Allen & talk about it tomorrow. precious letters & tokens from home but Such hungry pangs do come over Me. if it was not in hope of the Sweet meeting place, it would be unbearable. Started the [illegible] in S. S. today. One Sweetly Solemn thought I can hardly believe it is Myself Singing after Spending the most of My life So Songless. & how much melody has been made in My heart here. bless the Lord Oh My Soul for all his benefits No. 5 is My Monthly letter

Feb 25^th 1883
The Sab lessons this winter have had a peculiar interest. I prepare & write the questions on the board. Robert who is always present translates into Nez P. & the children Men & Women answer. R then writes the question for Sab. What a privilege is Mine to lead them to think upon a subject in a connected & disciplined Way. how often the Sermons have the Sab. Lesson in them. today I had a Serious talk to My Women or rather one Woman before Scl?& the rest came from the other S. Just Mark & Robert here about the Women needing to be led to their classes on Sab. Mark  with his wandering heart again. poor things how hard to give up old ways. how quickly guilt is read in their telltale faces & Manner. We Sang today & Robert is going to translate & Mark will write the coppies off. Around the Throne of God in heaven. What a bright comforting picture it will be to these poor Indian Mothers who have So many children in heaven. how Sol & Mrs S. enjoyed the Story of the going down of the children of Israel last night. how much I wish I could tell these wonderful Stories in Nez Perce. What a pleasure My Organ is to Me but not much time to practice. Phebe is trying now. Mark Seems to have forgotten the S Lesson today [illegible] & sophie & What an important one to people as well as children. one of questions was is it a lie to Say koan When we Know the certain [entry ends]

1^st Sab April 1883
Another communion Sab. What poor cold heart I have had today. So much taken up with Mrs K. & what I said to her about going to R hope it will be blessed to her. Council at Lapwai. Many start tomorrow. Robert announced that he was going to Portland. the children who go to forest-grove will be glad. he is to be only 20 miles from them. Phebe connected with the Church today & expects to start for Forest Grove tomorrow. the Girls all want So to go but are hindered. have been talking with good Bartholemew he told Me of the death of his little Girl. but that I suppose is nothing to the sorrow Lydia has given him by living unmarried at Lapwai, led off by a tinum.
How few communed today. they are much more [illegible] or the church is in a sad decline. Robert Said I would lead the prayer meeting. poor Me poor in Language & heart.& how grateful I ought to be because the great flood of the Ohio did not sweep off the dear ones in the little home. I asked today for more consecration. May I indeed be willing to consecrate all to him. the dear ones from the Old hearth Stone are never forgotten Sometimes I fear I love them too well & that the coming of the kingdom is not first. but Oh Lord thou hast forgiven Me from Egypt until now.

April 28^th 1883
Rachel & Enoch at church today. Enoch does not look as though he had been very Sick think there are other plans. & Spokan Mission may be abandoned. E. face is not clear. Silas & W^m Wheeler & Wives are on their way to See the old place but return to their work in three weeks, they seem to love their work.What a fearful week I have had with all the Sick children in charge. Dr. would not Stay. crossed the river & Saw Mrs M^cConville Start off for Forest Grove. as we all have to go astride of a pony. Roberts being away makes Such a difference in S. S. no questions asked. So many of children gone & Silent. School here? Mr & Mrs S. came always & Stay one Sab in My house.

May 14^th 1883 Kamiah
Have had Such a cry. Just came from Sues. She has at last the [illegible] & twelve dollars over half of the building [illegible] Said She Must have it [illegible] that dishonest house come to [illegible] Oh what Strong words said, will ever the smart leave. Lord fill Me So full of the spirit that nothing earthy will be So keenly felt. She is making arrangements to go to Mt Idaho. the M^cConvilles are now in forest Grove. Mrs Parker left this morning & Soon I will be the only White Woman here if only Solemons would stay in the house I would not be troubled. perhaps will take My blanket up to Lucy’s & lay on her floor if She will let Me. Robert is away, but there will be some way for Me. the Lord will not forsake Me all unworthy as I am. Oh how unworthy. My heart cannot fully realize is he brings Me nearer now. My poor wandering heart. The poor thing where will She go. & will She ever come back? Nearly 10 years Since She came & four Since I came years of rich Spiritual blessings & might to have been richer if would not have to learn My lessons once again. Gave her a check today for $3.12.50 today.

May 20. 1883
James Hays preached & conducted in S. S. but how little spirit in it since Robert left. Peter Lindsly preach the second sermon & announced that Silas Whitman & W^m Wheeler were now ordained Ministers. the Lord seemes to look with favor on that Umatilla Mission. doubt if Spokans will want any Missionaries. Since E & R have come home. what an interesting S.S. lesson today Peter released from prison by the Angel. Many Old women are earnest listeners - think telling the lesson in story form before they read is a good plan.
I look over to Joshuas & think the poor suffering daughter after all her wild reckless life lies cold & stiff there today for they do not bury on Sab. although they are hurried to the grave in a few hours after death if on a weekday. Sue expects to go in the morning & Oh how good God is to Me that I can lie down at night without fear here. gently he has led Me to this. he has cut off entirely every human dependance. even Peter & Parker will be away this week & I the only White here. but the people are not as much to be feared as whites & if they were My God is sufficient all sufficient has always met every real want. never slept sweeter in My life to God be all the praise for this peaceful feeling.

May 27^th 1883
Merely a week since Sue went to Mt I. & alone in the house. Oh no not alone. blessed company. but am the only white woman in the Vally but feel good sitting in Gods house among his people. how good to have Robert in the pulpit & S. S. again. he filled   S. S. since he visited So many in Portland from which he returned So Suddenly because Dr. L Said it was not good to Spend So much of Miss M^cB money & the Dr daughter made fun of him. he wants the friday teachers meeting told today that Pres. Said it was good good to study the lesson. Silas & Martha there today. Martha with her handkerchief on her head as of old. how many earnest faces among the women today Mrs Jason in particular. Oh that I might realize more Myself & have them better understand that the holy Spirit is a personal presence & dwells here on this earth. Only one of the three strange workman on the Mill was at church. Sue Said they will not harm you for of course they will be afraid of the Indians. have been reading Much about Pauls work and journeys. Oh that I had more of his zeal. More real consecration but Oh how much more comfort I am getting from the doctrines of the blessed religion of Jesus. & how I long that the dear home ones may be led by the Spirit into the truth blessed truth that lightens up all the way.

July 9^th 1883
Mr D came early to bid Me good bye. Sarah was here to get My mail & how often I fear to hear from home from My Sick boy. but have left him perfectly in the Lords hands. & will not Say aught. When all his dealings are best. how much more Spiritual I imagine My darling Sister is. Sometimes I fear the dear ones of My own family are dearer than Gods family to Me. We had a good communion Yesterday. More Men I think communed. Luke I think his face looks clearer. have much of My packing done preparatory to going away. Will people wonder if I am happy if I Sigh aloud among strangers as I do here in My house alone. the Lord been here with Me today. Oh that I had a tithe of the Spirituality of Francis R Havregil. Oh but I should be ashamed that there is So little When I know & often Say "Ye ken." it is getting late. poor Mr D I fear Dr Lindsleys being at Lapwai & Charlys going to Portland Means Something in this land of intriguing.
Oh but it is warm & dry. the mountains are on fire & the depressing Smoke is coming like last fall. What a gift from the Lord My Organ is. if the Lord spares Me to get to Mrs C. I hope he will give Me aptness to learn for I trust it is only for his service. take My Voice & let Me Sing only always for My king. Mary was again at church without Shawl & her hat on. Jimmie Lawers talk over in camp has its influence. the people will not want Robert to go away Soon again & Billy Stays so long teaching those Umatilla Elders.

July 12^th 1883
Another 4^th the fourth one for Me has passed. Robert & Mr D exchanged. R I suppose is still in camp at Lap while this people scattered the Morning after the fourth. a disappointed Spiritless Set. I wonder if We had to have an Interpreter if this Spirited congregation would become like Lap. Peter L & James H Set back. it is plain the Natives Must do the work among these & I suppose all other people. If C. should Send the police to find out the Sentiment of the people here It would not be hard to find. Oh but We need the eyes of the Lord to go before Us for we cannot See & cannot read what We do see. Mr D & I went over every morning ate our lunch under two thorn bushes at Lowries door.
Some of My clothes went over in a box with Sab things. So far on the road to Lapwai, perhaps Sue Will Meet Us in Lewiston. nearly Seven weeks Since She went to Mt I. & how Sweetly I have slept here in this Vally. the only White Woman here his left hand has been Under My head, & the Going down now of the people with their children on the way to forest Grove Seems a kind plan of the Lord to take Me for My Summer Vacation out of My pleasant field. but how My heart Sinks in thinking of home for My darling pet boy Artie was sick with Scarlet fever when Mary Wrote last. help Me to Say thy will & not Mine. poor Mrs Andrew cried before the Lord last winter about her boy. Now She is gone & her boy homeless here. Oh Lord open our eyes.

Kamiah Sep 7^th 1883
Home again but Sitting alone in the house with a sprained foot. Got it getting out of the waggen at the top of the fearful Mountain on the Mt I. road. but well it was not My ancle for I had to walk the six miles down, Some of this way Sue on My back. that Scene when She lay down & cried & was going to faint & No water nearer than the rim had not had but a little water for two days. know now what thirst means. lost on the Praire camped near the thorn bushes but no water. Sat on a box all night & Peter watched his horses. Sue on the waggen Seat Started by day break. came to the bushes Mrs Tip Allaky told Us there was a spring. found the corral & bushes, but no water. on on to the See[illegible] mountain. Where the great load was rearranged for the descent. Peter did not wait but went on & Just at the most disponding time Oh Joy an Indian came up the trai.l Good little Mr Enes. Soon Sue was mounted on the white pony man fashion & he leading the horse & guiding the waggen. Surely the lord sent him. he even guided through the river although we crossed in the canoe. blessed river both for the poor horses & ourselves. My foot did not get So bad at first but it too is in the Lords hands. how Many calls we have had today did not [know] this was the peoples custom but how nice. & how glad they Seem that We are back. The Lords doings - to him be the praise.

Oct 28^th 1883
My eyes as swolen today as they were four years ago. & for the same cause. Robert would not announce My S. opening Solomen would not today. Said "Billy Said No because of Mrs Jimmie Lawyer. Oh the trouble I have.Although I had made a covenant With Mary & Abraham to live in My house Solomen & wife with their things dumped out & Said he had been talking with Miss S. L [Sue] it looks as if I had no right to S. or house or My Self. today it looks as if My School will be destroyed. but I have been away off. My seeming popularity with the people has made Me light headed. through My tears I am beginning to See it is the Same old lessen learning over & over again to trust the Lords although traps are all around Me. Jimmie L. Shall not live on this Side. No. not if My S. should go. have not been enjoying the precious Word of God as I used to but do find wonderful things in 2ⁿ Cor. Oh give Me back thy presence Jesus as I had the first year here thou wast all I had & thy love Satisfied every desire. Give Me back My Souls keen edge again. it is good to have Solomen here again will not be offended like Abram. but Marys heart was set on living with Me. Oh fill Me full of love to thee & then I can love those who despitfully use Me. pull down the Strong hold Satan has been fortifying while I was looking this way & that. how Often these days as I realize how very strong it is. I exclaim Lord have Mercy upon Me. 

Nov 19^th 1883
Today Katie, Marks little Girl was buried. what a pet she was with us all. every day in S. What effect it May have upon Mark it is hard to tell. he is always straight when a baby is in the house bu. think he will Soon follow. No School today. Mrs Lawyer here every day. what will come of that is yet to be seen. Oh how twisted every thing did get with politicl maneuvering but a small cloud appears. Nearly the whole congregation Stays in for Sab. S. I tell it as a Story. My the Lord bless what ability I have for telling Stories - bible Stories to this poor people. R does not Seem willing to be helped. So I will have to do the best I can, but cautiously Solemon & Mrs S. Sit here in My kitchen with eyes wide open. Oh how they love the bible
Last Sab. of Nov. the Story of Goliath for Sab S. All the Women & nearly all the Men W ^m P. among them. Strange that I Should be relating these bible Stories away here to this strange people in a strange language. the picture of the [illegible] river at dear old north Sewickly with its attentive listeners comes before me in contrast with this little church full. the focus of old - Women looking up to Me from their Seat on the floor. but am beginning to fear jealous eyes are turned away from Me. for his back is towards Me. no teacher Meeting perhaps I am nearing preaching ground or perhaps Mrs. L. is the trouble

Christmas evening 1883
Am glad the tree is to be tomorrow evening instead of this. it has been such a rainy snowy day & is blowing So hard now. have every thing ready for the tree -- Many pretty little books from Brighton this year but of corse all will not be pleased. did not go to church last night or today. May the Lord come among Us & leave no room for the Monster jealosy which eats out the grace of the heart of this people. Silas is the trouble now R   ignores him altogether. Sol. is of course with his brother & What a time poor Sue has. Oh. Oh. What a people to want honors. how much grace is among them. the patient tender Lord know She thinks they are Using Me in the opposition Side. how I do not know but they are Men & Women [illegible] the Style of the couple in My house. it was a blessed spiritual time when I could not understand word or look. but walked alone with Jesus. Poor Mark lays in his fathers house dying. the smile he gave me yesterday haunts Me Still. he is but a Skeleton. What are they doing in the dear old home today is what I have often tried to see. hope the Spirit of the Lord is there.
The feast today was down at Silases the Old S. house. What is Mrs Campbell doing in her new home. My S. is so full & interesting this year but if there is so much trouble in Sues Mine will feel it. Oh for a close walk with God. My Sweet Organ is so much company. Come holy Spirit Oh how We need thy power.

Dec 28^th 1883
Oh these Christmas trees. think today the Snaps & cookies the best. for yesterday & today I think every woman I see coming is coming to tell Me her little girl or boy did not get any thing from the tree. thought when the Men wrote the names on the cards in Nez Perce that there would be no trouble. perhaps the trouble was around the tree for the new men could not read the writing very well. & perhaps many of them is like Mrs Lukes children have but want more. Some of the children get three times it matters little what. if today they are like Davids little girl. Mark is still on this Side of the river. can be lieve in the unforgiving character of the race now. Since he does not want to see or speak to Silas. No church last night or today not that there is a lack of preachers but too many I think. the Weatokas is on the keen look out to keep every one in their proper place. indeed Some of them need it badly. any of them would take his place in a minute. have not been out much this week. the weather miserable. how is the things to come from Mt Idaho. have taught Mrs Dick here to knit today - her little girl is happy.

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