New Years 1881
I can See them gathering back to the little Church. that house is the Centre of all Kamiah. the one spot. Oh that the Lord would remove this nervous fear of even P. that I have felt for the last few days in daylight here in the house alone. Go today to dinner at the Miss. a trial. Have commenced to day to read the psalms. Go over almost every evening to See Sue on My way to Campells for the night. feel Sometime as I wend My way at night or daylight back very homeless. but know in the Lords own time & way this too will be fixed & Some other trial put in its place. poor Sue is always in Some Stew about the government of Church or State. Was there ever another woman So ambitious to rule. She has I think gone too far the last year even her own Select few think So & She has more maneuvering to keep them all right. there is not the eagerness to attend S that there was last Year. the Tribe is to be governed through the Church. What ever is to be done with all these Ministers. Mr D does not know. Will not go to Josephs people & are not prepared to go anywhere else. We need the Spirit of the Lord to take the Selfishness away. May the lord make this a blessed Year our own Souls & to this people & Oh to My dear ones at home. More faith to plead the promises
Two sleds going past one with a white flag. how like children these people are.

1^st Sab of 1881
Been at home all day. Sore throat from Sitting this week of prayer in the church without fire. Rachel & Enoch live with Me Now. may this arrangment be profitable to Us both. She is the Most advanced & likely of My Women how little they all have for their houses but look well at Church.
Have had the day reading the history of Jacob in the precious book. Things New & Old, I have been comparing a planner? that I know hoping that She will See Jacob-like that it is all fruitless. I have No ability to manage & do not want any While God My God is here & in command. if I only patiently wait, he fixes evrything the best. I need not be afraid.

Jan 30 1880 [sic]
Had comfort today in feeling that it does not matter wether in the Chiefs favor or not, that the cloud that now threatens to Send Us from our work will be turned if it is best. If not if Jesus is only near. Painful the humbling May be in it all, if trouble it is always blest. Oh but I am reading fast in the book of Gods providence. this time last year evry nerve bent to get Me away & make Me appear nothing. Now a petition with ten of Chief names to have Us removed. My Sin is in the name I used to be So proud of.  How Saul-like this loss of power even over her dearest friends & how sad. but Self must not be put in the place of Jesus. every nerve is strained to regain lost ground Oh that eyes may be opened to see what is wrong May the Spirit do this for No else can. whatever comes to Us out of all these councils it will be right, for he sees it all.
The Cambells are sitting in their quiet home without School. What will become of this people if the Lord leaves them to there own councils. how intensely interested  My Women are in the Stories of Genesis. Oh Lord be thou their teacher. & May the Cross not be hidden. What an interesting Sab S. here. The little ones answer Roberts animated questions & May the people be blessed in listening. Am glad to hear Artie goes to the front bedroom to Jesus when he has trouble. Oh that Mother Father & all My dear ones my have a Sacred Spot.

Feb 20^th
How Sadly changed the congregation. the Side Seats that the prominent ones used to crowd & squeeze into is roomy. the expectant Chief Sits back & So his friends. Robert prayed for us today. Just as Sol did the last time. Miss Kate first & Miss M^cBeth in the low back breath. A name So unpopular Must be pronounced Softly. Oh what an illustration of Schemeing for Self Glory. they all have such a Sullen look Some of the Christians are letting there hair grow long. no S at Campells & likely none will be. if I was not Sure that God My God was here & in command all these ominous signs, would be fearful. Shut in by these mountains in an openly enemy land. but after all that the Lord has done for Me here So Surely teaching the lesson hard to learn that if I Stand Still he will manage all things better. Oh So much better than I could have done. Yes Yes I will trust him for the rest. this feeling does not seem to be in My School Yet. But not the shaking of hands there used to be with me at Church. Oh Lord open her eyes to see She is at least partly to blame for this State of feeling that Christianity is at Such discount. the Lord alone can change all this. it is not only deplorable but fearful. the little S S thrives but Robert was depressed today. Archie Seemed in good Spirits. Peter the door keeper is Sitting in Side Seat. May the Lord give us a repentance not to be repented of

April 10^th 1881
Robert in the pulpit today for the first time for one Month. perhaps Mr. D has written to him he May go back he has been humble enough. Since that terrible letter of  Mr Ds to Sue Seemingly a better State of feeling in the church. Archies last Sab before going to Indian Ter. Starts Just after presbtry. Was astonished to find the two bright faces in S room in councel over Mrs Archies wardrobe Yesterday. Just as if the unchristian enmity of this Scheming winter was all forgotten. but provoking Robert came in before all the clothes could be stored away. What a bright Spot that Sab School is. I cannot tell how far back My class extends. the papers are the great attraction, Stamiton & Abraham from Lapwai. It was announced the Yackamas have a Sab of 52 Schollars, The Lawyer family have Sick enough hearts today Their pet & pride So soon to leave S.  I see if things grow brighter will only go to San F. the Police Man made an announcement today Sorry if they Use the church as a place to reach the people. What rich provision the Lord made for Me this winter when he Sent these little books. Things New & Old hope Mr D & Mr B. will enjoy them as Much. the Life & Times of David that Mr D sent up has as I expected Jesus on every page. how much I have felt My Spiritual Weakness in trying to follow him but What new news of Jesus work & the fathers love I have had. Can read them right once & then not get all the Sub.

April 17^th 1881
Peter came from Mount Idaho and brought Me two letters from Sister Mary telling Me of the transfer of Our little Pet Mary Henderson M^cBeth Kallaway to heaven. For her Sake I am So glad She is safely folded. Lizzie Says She does not want her back. how changed She must be to be able to Say this. how lonely dear little Artie must be & Lizzies tender heart.& poor Arthur. May he not harden under this great trial to him for She Seemed to be the only one that could teach his heart. I am glad She Asked Mamma So often to Sing Rock of Ages & that She told them She saw the beautiful Gate. Oh that they may See inside & See more than their loved ones. See Jesus the Chiefest Among the ten thousands. Oh but My heart is going up for the inmates of the dear Old home. perhaps I have loved them too well but Jesus is dearer than all. May he fill every room & be their company. Diptheria. I can see the little pet in the Station Saying Goodie, at the bird on the Water tank.  Lord take away this anxiety for the rest & do what I cannot. make them to see the power of the blood. Do not leave them but fill all, all, all hearts & home with thy love.

April 24^th 1881
Peter the doorkeper preached today. Strange for he has been suspended. Not many children at Sab School river So high. So Rachel had the Girls & I had the boys. Used the little Nez P. catechism. More & more I see that I expected too much from this people & that they have little knowledge. Solomen exerted the people to remember that God was every where as Miss Kate had told the children. poor things they are all children.
One week since I heard of pet Marys death. A week of anxiety & of trust too. Am much at home in thought & get very near Jesus & the blessed father. Iit takes but a minute to go by the way of Jesus. perhaps best I am not there. Jesus can work without My help in their hearts. think I will have to tell them what Jesus has done alone With Me. Oh for More faith that he will do even for poor Arthur that Jesus will show himself to them all. in his healing, cleansing & comforting power. how much I want done for them. Ask what ye will comes with Sweet power at times. Oh that I may ask nothing doubting. I of all his children ought to have faith. how very near Jesus comes to Me. I never could or would have become acquainted with him only for the fire. Am not strong bodily as I used to be but he Shall do with Me as he will & I will try & think I can say tats. led in the Singing today. could not Sing at home

Kamiah May 1^st 1881
Have had a week of Sweet nearness to Jesus & assurance that the Lord will hear My prayer for My dear ones. the more I think of Pet Marys little bright life the plainer I See her mission. I See it was to hold up the plan of Salvation as it is so simple in the thrice precious hymn Rock of Ages. It looks to Me as if the tender Shepherd gave this golden thread into the dear little ones hand to throw out to the dear ones of that little home while his loving hand holds the end & I know they will See it. how plain & simple the whole devine plan is now to Me here but how Oh how many years of hoping & doubting I have spent. So dull & Slow to learn that I have nothing to do with My Safety & I am So glad that I have not. have been hunting up references to make plain to Lizzie that Jesus is the Rock. I see the Lords hand So plainly in all that relates to this dear Sister. May She very Soon See it all herself & feel that the loving father has given her the cup. how often he has told Me these last two weeks I can show her that & teach her best without you. & My precious boy will never forget all this either. Oh how my heart goes up to God for his presence in every room of that Old home. Mr D. gone to Gen Assembly. & I Said is there but one Gen Ass for the Women. but I am glad he was sent. My house on fire this week but the Lord Sent the Chinaman to tell Us while we were translating Rock of Ages. Mrs Kentuck one of the Selfreliant calm women was soon on the roof with hatchet in hand while Mary Johnston was in the garret. how good the Lord is to Me. I say as I think of the Campells going to Lap & the Whitmans coming here. Oh well he will fix it all right Somehow.

 2^nd Sab May 1881
Communion to day & churched packed. Sue out for the Second time. the Suspended & the backslider again at the Lords table. they go back & forward in companies at the beck of leaders. but more & more I feel that I overestimated them & that the poor things know So little. in there experience meetings they Say much the Same things. the cross shrill tones & crying of the Women contrast Strangely with the gentle tones & calm manner of the Men. Not So free from distraction My self as in times past. this fear of fire is partly My excuse, a poor one I know. thought that this is communion day at home & that My dear Sister will See Jesus in his love today as never before. was a comfort perhaps Arthur to. it seemed hardly right that My darling boy should be left in his Seat when he loves Jesus too.

Last Sab June 1881
Robert announced today that there would be but one camp & that over the River in contradiction his statment last Sab that there would be two & those who did not want to stay on this side need not. but he has learned that Kapkapelicans Strong voice was but the voice of the people. Jonah has invited all Lap. & with the Strangers will make a great gathering. May the lord be in the Camp wether George Waters comes or not. Who else could restrain & keep right Such men as were at Church tody with hair platted in the front & bretch cloths on the Sab. was nice today but Soon the loved face of Mrs. Campbell will be gone from Kamiah. in My depression about her going I almost fail to thank God for giving her to Me these two years & making her to take a sisters place. the book of  No has much food for thought in it. the call of the Levites the most striking. May these little books be treasures to Lizzie & Arthur. if A has really been brought into the household of God by the taking of our pet Mary to himself her little mission was well done & I am reproved for with how little faith I did pray for him. Oh Lord do not let my brother the child of Many prayers go on the downward road.

July 6^th
The much dreaded 4^th is past what is to come out of it the future will tell for We had two camps notwithstanding Agents & Mr D orders to the contrary. five chiefs a few K. christians over there Neknek theological again. with what a feeling of anxiety We Watched the crossing and recrossing Saturday. the Catholics on the other Side all came over on Sab to worship & Monday for a Short time but returned to have their own feast. 400 feasted this Side. None but the I Am could keep two Such camps orderly. All praise be his name truly he is allsufficient for every emergency, for the church or individual, never Slept better in My life. So tired at night, for Up till Friday had helped the Campbells to get ready to Move & they were So glad to go that it was easier for Me to let them for they thought We two Women were to be alone in this multitudeof about a thousand. Many of them blanketed. was Seven days in camp with them only the Squaw Men. Tombs at the last Stayed & Peter came on Saturday. the picture of Jonah Chief of Police Standing in center of circle high crowned hat in hand while he delivered his Speech & We all Standing in our best clothes in obedience to the command of Thomas the crier will not soon be forgotten. & As I Sat at Sues next day watching Jonah & Pauls shrewd faces as one question after another was put to her to trap her. & Said I never want to be able to talk to these Men. A word would have ignited the whole. No two camps with as bitter feeling in white Men could have kept quiet. All hail the power of Jesus name.

 2 Sab July
To my Surprise a large congregation today. J L looked dark. Although a letter from Agent calling A few prominent ones down to Council before he leaves for washington. what he is going for is the query the State of things here is not growing any better. It cannot always last So. Oh but the cause of Christ is hurt in its defence. So much bitterness I wonder if it is this way on every Reservation. Billy Says flags are at half Mast at Mt Idaho that the President Garfield is killed. What a terrible State the world is in. Surely the Lord Jesus is soon coming. the Campbells in Lapwai I am here alone all day & Stay at nights at Sues.

3^d Sab
Many Strangers at Church returning from Kamas ground. Good Sab S. pic nic announced Mr D. wrote wait till I come. Suppose he is in Lap today home from Assembly & will be Up this week. two good letters from Mary & one from Lizzie. So glad She Sees why her darling was taken from her. She likes her little books. Oh that She may feast upon them as I have been & Am doing. every one grows better. I thought nothing could be better than Lev but No is So practical. the Wilderness. but can not feel quite comfortable reading them here alone in the Wheat field for Peter has been to Mt Idaho & I am listening to every noise. Rachel is in her own house Jealous of Mary J.s new dress a present from Old George. but in reality because Mary translated the S. S. lesson last Sab. how can grace be where this So abounds among this people. Sues pass came for P. So I suppose I will get to Lapwai.

5^th Sab July
Enjoyed Mr D Sermon more today than last Sab. he has been here to dinner & gone. & I have read a precious ch in C H M on Silver trumpets. the moving & the halting in obedience of the divine call is plain & clear if the ear is circumcised. & Oh that I might always feel that My God has & will make all the provision for Me by the way I need & that this yearning for human friendship could & would give place to the feeling God is here & all my real wants are met in how patieint he is with Me. perhaps the heat is making Me feel So weak & nervious Will I never after all the wonderful things he has done for Me here lean on the divine arm. The S. S. was better arrainged today. Mrs Kentuck back to her class again & Martha was called to Rachels class. How hard it is to teach in Nez Perce. Lord make much of the little.

Sep 2^nd Sab
It seemed good to get back to the little church of Kamiah after being away for four Sab’s. felt better among My Women than in the fine church of P. I am distressed about Lap they Seem So demoralized. All Squaws there the influence of the Whites is bad. the Agency buildings fine but the poor Indian almost as far back as when the treaty was made. love Mrs Warner. So Sorry Mr D has been So weak in Some things. Miss Haden Miss Whitman Ferry Dr & Dyer all at Church today. Peter preached today. the people seemed glad to See Us & Soloman prayed for his Mother & Sister today & the dear little S. S. was as bright as ever. I long So much to do more than ever. have promised to go to Lapwai next year. perhaps Mrs D will not want Me. I am thinking of two weeks ago today on Snake river & dear little Mrs Purrington. May the Lord Strengthen her according to her needs & beautiful Mrs. M^cBean I loved them because they loved their Indians. how forsaken those down the river Indians did look. perhaps Some of Our own among them fishing in Walowa Valley. Surely the Lord has cast our lot in a pleasant place May he keep the arrow on Sues door Step from meaning any thing & lay bountifuly to our hands for our work. Shut out from the world May We feel indeed Shut into God. Oh how long it seems Since We had home letters. Jesus keep them near the Cross.

September 81
[huge portion of upper left corner missing]
...asking for My dear ones at home will be answered under the promise if Ye abide in me & My words abide in you. May the cloud that is now hanging over Lapwai put fear into all white hearts. truly nothing Secret that Shall not be made know May the experiences of Mr D be blessed to him & make him to See he cannot Serve God in Egypt. Another Staff bent that I leaned on.

3^d Sab Oct. 1881
Laid down My little book of Mr C H M with a new view of the river Jordan. that it means Christ death & not the boundary of My life. that the battles began with the Israel after crossing Jordan. Oh what a poor dull pupil I have been under So great a teacher. the question arises how much of My wilderness life have I been under him. how little Spirituality I have had today & I So much needed it -- to Sup. the S. S. & Oh why was I So thoughtless as not to Speak of the power of the blood of the Lamb in the burnt offering. When I could have spoken in My own language to So many poor White rough Men. the RR Surveyers. Things terribly muddled up at Lapwai. the biliards cards & drinking have already been reported to Washington. Mr D has had too little character. known all this I fear he will be much blamed. true there is no Serving God in Egypt. Charly Montieth has written Sue for a recomendation to Dr. L as he is applicant for the Agency. I do not know whether this will better it much as all the M. family would have positions. the poor people have sorry examples. Oh that they might look past Us to the perfect one. Mr D away now to Meet his bride McMcConville coming from Lewiston to this School.

1^st Sab Nov
Came home from Sues tuesday evening in tears. Enoch Must leave My house because Mrs Kentuck was in S. I knew the Lord would fix Some way for Me but visions of Weary walks hunting a place to Sleep would come before Me. I Sat down in tears intending to take it to the Lord in prayer, but graciously he proved his words before ye call I will answer for Rachel came in to tell Me that Enoch Said Watso imim Jaken, wako. & I think the Lord has healed the troubles. We had Such a precious day in School reading & talking about the blue ribon. Mrs K two Silver rings will do as well. the talk of Small pox at Lapwai remind Me of the care & love of My father five years ago when I was so exposed to it in the Neper family. is there an other one in the whole camp of Israel that ought to have such strong faith. I do not. the curtain rolled the least from the future enough to know My faithful Guide knows the road. this week Mr D brings his bride to Lapwai poor thing & the Washington Investigations there. & into all the trouble & possibility of Small pox beside. Lord sprinkle the Waters of Separation on both Me & his wife. Rachel went to Mt Idaho So I sent letters to Lizzie & Mary for We know not when We will have another chance. A good letter from Mrs. M^cBean My Snake river friend

Thanksgiving 1881
How much I have to be thankful for. health. house wood. food. My bible opened this morning at 107 psalm. My first impuls was turn to Some other that I had not read So often. but as I read it was full of fresh thought & how plainly all the past two years came up when I began the 23d verse. the doing business in great waters brought the first years Scenes vividly before Me. how wonderfuly the lord has led Me in all these years. tonight two years ago I Made My paper comfort with Mothers dresses. I miss Mrs C.today but the lord kindly gave her to Me two thankgivings. She is today likely reciving in her cordial Way the bride Mrs Deffenbugh. the people are So frightened about Small pox because of the two deaths at Lapwai from it. Memory takes me to the Old house when the Lord took Me alone for 20 days. Some of the Lapwai people have fled here is Parkers fear. have hoped that it has been a peaceful day in the little Ohio home even though the little Pet is not there today. May the Lord open their eyes to See his love & not let them look to earth for their comforts. Quite a No at church today the poor things how often they thank the Lord for Wakas washih these days. Went over & told Mrs Kentuck not to come to S because Joseph had come from Lapwai. Mrs Solomen Spoke pleasantly. Lord let Me not forget the blue ribbon again.

Nov 30^th
The church was crowded to its utmost capacity today notwithstanding the fright about Small pox. it is reported 11 Sick now at Lap & Old Jude died. perhaps it has already been brought here by Some that has fled from Lap. Miss K angry because She was told not to come to School. it like a dark cloud over the work here. indeed over all this west. from Dayton the Christmas things have come but think it doubtful if We have a tree.

20^th December 1881
Katie Silas young wife is now lying in the little church a corpse & her baby. how little did I think two days ago as She Sat before Me in S. S. that She was but one days Journey from the Jorden which We were talking about. the old women nodded their heads when I said perhaps some of Us today are camping on the brink but not Katie. Mrs Campbells favorite girl. We had the crossing of the children of Israel for our Subject. I hope She was not vaccinated if She was they will all Say it was that. So many are Sick & frightened about their arms. Enock moaned all night & thinks he must Sit with his arm by the fire. Some must warm the water to drink. Christmas approaching. on account of Sore arms the tree will not be Set up until next week Many Sick from the weather. Six of the eight who had Small P in Judes Band are dead. faithful old Eagle among them. a historic name for he carried Mrs Spaulding to the canyon near Caldwells & helped guard her her & her two children until Mr S. returned. & it is said that he died under the Shelter of a rock alone. but he who recorded the names of Davids thirty three worthies will not forget this more than cup of cold water.