First Sab of 1880
Peter Lindsley preached today. Most of Men at great counsel at Lap. I thought as I gazed at a blanketed one today again What the gospel does in changing the expression of the eye. Am Much Stronger than last Sab. Must My spiritual Strength & communion with God depend on the measure of trouble I have it. Seems So today

Sab Jan 24
Back at Mizpah again, will I never get but a few steps beyond it, the new house is the trouble, I am not keeping close to My dearest only friend. All manner of Ang?  have been in My head today. Although I have been told to put up My Sword?, the cup that My father has given Me Shall I not drink it, And that he has provided a Shelter thus far for Me, & that there will be some way for Me. Am I not willing for almost anything So that My 17 women Who are So anxious to read May know for themselves What God says to them. Oh for More faith, More love for Souls, An all absorbing disire that Jesus may be glorified, And only Jesus, oh watch Me & keep Me from narrowness of Soul, & evry other evil thing that Seems to belong to Miss ground. My precious ones at home be ever near & dear to them.

Last S of Jan 1880
The Lord directed Me this morning to Isiah. 49. & 50 chap & what precious things I did find there I went singing along to the little church thinking that I could not understand Roberts preaching that Should be My Sermon from the lord.  food enough in this blessed bible to last Me until I get the new [illegible] on the other Side of Jordan. I love to Sit in this little church. They Seem So earnest & then they look so kindly on Me the Silent Stranger. this evening Sat back with the long haired blanketed ones for the floor even was crowded. It is best that they Should Spend the Sab day there as they have nothing to read nor could they read it if they had. I have had all week such a sweet Sense of Security, feeling that the Lord will manage all things for Me & that I need not do or try to for I do know that I cannot have harder trials than I have had here, & My Soul? Says or Sweeter experiences of his presence or love. he satisfies My Soul as othing else can do. I cannot grow narrow minded in his company. he openeth My ear every morning to his loving words, Oh if Lizzie and Rob just was as well acquainted with him how precious his promise. We will come and make our abode with thee If I have been bitterly disappointed here, it has not been in his love & care blessed precious Jesus. bless Me to these poor women & take all the glory evrey whit to thine ownself & May every prayer for the dear ones in the little cottage by the brook be answered & for all the rest of dear ones & for this poor home too

2^nd Feb
2^nd Communion Sab here but Oh how many Sweet communion Sab I have had in the last three months. the house even every inch of the floor was occupied, Sarah, Marks wife went with me & Sat with Me & dear Mrs. Solomon & Mrs. Felix was near & if our toung is strange to each other the precious name of Jesus bind’s our hearts What precious reading lesson we had two days last week the 26 ch of Matthew how Methodist like they are in their experiences meetings from Services today Oh how they love that church! Robert with his white shirt looked so well & is loved So much. Lord keep My dear ones near perhaps Arthurs resolution to go to church is answer to prayer think Sometimes Since I get So much nearer to the Lord here that My prayers here are better than My presence at home.

3^d Sat of Feb
My bible opened at the precious 134 & what comfort I found in it & the two following here after I think Davids trials & deliverances are so much like My own, every expression sin of praise found a response in My heart. What would I do in this strange land & among this strange people without My God & without My bible, let Me not forget that My object & Mission in this world is or should be one & the Same with Jesus on the earth the conversion of the world. Had a precious interview with Jesus before I arose as I have almost every morning. Have more faith here to as for My brothers & Arthurs Soul? & for Lizzie & Mary too who ought to have such strong faith as I have not been troubled about the future. The last week have given all up into Jesus hands & am resting & trusting in his plans he is stronger than the Mightiest I think I see that he is even now turning things & I often pray for Mercy mixed with Justice. four more added to this little a great Indian Church today. One boy with long hair a yellow blanket & Robert told Me one of the women was once a catholic what a glorious work his is! Oh that he may be kept by the power of the Mighty One. Archie is not here & he (R) feels so much better perhaps A is going to study with Mr. D. Oh that My women may practice the precious truths they So earnestly dig out of the precious mine that is opening up to them. If the poor cold churches of the East could only See with what zeal they worship God here! how they Sing how they pray & how they preach. This rainy day not prevent them coming & sitting with wet feet & clothes to hear the word of life.

Feb 22^d
A bright Spring day As I Sat today in the little Church I said Oh yes I See where Roberts power as a preacher came from it is Jesus all the time he is tethered to the cross, & Jesus has always the dew of his youth upon him never grows old. The doctrines grace are in a sense the body of Christ. he is full of freshness I cannot tire of him for want of variety, every [illegible] in the old testament presents him in a different aspect Paschal lamb, Scapegoat  as a bullock strong to labor. So patient, dove innocence, in the blood Sprinkled, in the incense burning, in the laver filled with Water, Arons Rod, the Golden pot in the Ark, he is like the Kelediscope with fresh arrangements of colors, behold him officially, as purest prophet king Mediator, Shepherd, Captain, Head of the Church the Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, We can never discover all his excellence because he is divine & therefore inexhaustable, perhaps the golden harps & streets & all that will be contained in the word Christ. We will never tire of him because the desire after him will never cease while on earth, & We will want him in heaven for heaven would be no heaven without him. he is the Sum & Substance of heaven if I shall Not want him to forgive Me I shall want him to embrace me, if not as Shepherd as husband, if not as Priest as king. So Robert has a subject always new & always will be. But I would rather he would not ask Me to pray but do not feel that I can refuse. This week had some anxiety about My School, Justly but took it all to Jesus & he fixed it for Me, perhaps I forget My commission some days in My hurry to have them learn to read, the Spirit of the Services. Was some what injured today by Mr. C reading a letter from Dr Geary. I Must bow & ask for other Miss, for others now between 5 & 6 OC are asking for Me

3^d Sab of Feb 1880
Been Snowing So hard all day did not go to hear William Wheeler preach for when Robert is away there are plenty to preach. Have read the book of Nehimiah. How much My experience of wandering & returning is like Israel & the Same loving, patient, gracious God recieves Me. I used to think that I could tell Just where in the wilderness I was, but cannot today only the cloud is visible & the Lord is near for I see the last few weeks that he is making the crooked things straight & the rough places smooth. Only guess how he is doing it, Oh that My communings May be as sweet as when in the hottest of the fire& May I be willing to be punished at once for by him. Just As I was with Mrs. Clamp [illegible] & My faith was Strengthened by Marthas return to S room. Perhaps it is more on account of prayers at home that I am favored than from My own. Good letter from B & Sallie B. let Me do offener as Nehemiah did go back & recount the Mercies of More than 40 years. In reading the Memoir of Walter Lowrie I was carried back to a seat beside our Own John Lowrie the day in April 1849 when I presented Myself for admission to the church. How little I have done for the Lord in all these years & how he has led & cared for Me. May he lead the dear ones as surely

1^st Sabath of March
I lay in bed too long this morning have not spent as much time as I should over My precious bible. I trust now since the Lord is making things pleasanter for Me that My heart will not forget all he has been to Me when there was nothing nothing but himself to look to for comfort. but I know I will not be allowed to go far--poor Mrs. Campell May she find him as near or presence in this hour of trouble as I found him. Oh the troubles of this reservation.

2^nd Sab of March
Obie came & Spent the rest of the After noon looking at bible pictures Oh how I long to be able to explain things to My Women

3^d Sab March
Was quite tired this morning after the long walk over to Kamiah creek. the question has come often today how can I best Serve the Lord this Spring My women are So far away. Oh Lord not only give Me the wisdom but the willing heart to do anything remembering these are among thy little ones that the cup of cold water is to be given to. May my prayer be made in earnest for full consecration a giving up of Self in every thing. Make Me more patient this week & careful that each woman goes home with Some precious truth impressed upon her mind after coming So far. Peter came from Mount Idaho with the mail & Sunday & all I had to read Lizzie? letter. I think the Lord is near them. little Mary pet. Am glad she has such a hold on her fathers heart. Lord Make this a blessed & profitable week. the Lord is truly making things here brighter& for this cause I should be more watchful over My wandering heart.

4th Sab March
Up & ate My breakfast alone as usual Sab Morning perhaps not in the Spirit on the Lords day. Things have been too smooth for the past month or two for My spiritual good. Not So much happened this morning but [12 lines erased to make illegible] away & in his stead? let in & filled up with envy, hatred, intriguing. & every unchrist like feeling. Lord have Mercy & do not cast off forever. Make Me more earnest in prayer for this. & help Me to say still Nearer My God to thee by whatever Means I am brought. Oh Jesus be very near & hold Me up tight as thou didst upon the Sea, & let not My religion be separated from Myself & life. I am glad when I think how old I am, although I would love to work longer for My dear Women I find plenty of Spiritual work. keep My mind Staid upon thee & let Me not forget that if I am fit for the work & this is the place that all the plots will fail for thou art Stronger than the mightiest & if It is realy for My Salvation do not Spare the rod, & be patient with My Murmurings? & Oh Lord do not hide or let Me hide My own Sins from Myself. Show them in the light of thy countenance & keep Me from looking back to the home of love I left. Oh but I will kiss thy feet when I get in but come & Stay with Me now.

1^st April 1880

Robert & Many others gone to Presbytery So Joseph Lourie & Mr. C preached as they call all talking in the pulpit & from Mr C affectionate talk one would think perfect love & confidence reigned. Oh the deceit of the human heart. I feel like losing faith in all but Jesus here, religion cloaks up so many unchristlike feelings. I wonder at his patience with all this. My precious Women are getting on So fast & are understanding So many comforting verses & places. but Oh how I long to do more for the multitude.That I only see at church this narrow way of confering all all favors on the picked few, is so different from My understanding of Christs teaching. The question so often comes I must do more for the Mass & how Shall it be done? perhaps Mr. D. when he comes will suggest Something practicable. I tried this morning to go up with Peter & James & look at Jesus transfigured but Satan went with Me & I only got glimpses of his glory. The plotting & planing to remove Me from this My work, would be pushed in between & how easy it is to dwell upon My grievences. My prayer is that the snares laid for My removal May not work The other way. & the great trouble that has been written about May for her Sake & the Masters not be found out. As I Sit here in My little room & look at My losely laid carpet that truly I am only tenting & that it is best to work for Jesus. Just be the  [illegible] & am afraid to Say I want a new house
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2^nd Sab. April
This beautiful day so much like one at home. How quickly & quietly nature is spreading her carpet of green over these mountains. How I enjoy the spring after such a winter. Have found much substance in first part of 1 cor 10 chap & although at times have felt that My trials were peculiar & My case an isolated one, the cloud & Sun both evident am Sure the Same spiritual food has been mine & the same spiritual drink for the Rock has followed Me truly to the wilderness & Oh how often I have been refreshed. let Me never forget that the food and drink set daily before Me is just that which has strengthened Moses & all Gods children. Since not coarser or less refreshing because for Me the Same the very Same is the comforting thought. Joseph Lourie preached again today. After church here came a white Man & Squaw to talk over with Miss M^cBeth about getting married but no one here now to marry them. Are to come back in the morning with Solomen.perhaps he has the authority. Strange mixed up state of Society

3^d Sabath of April
Have had a week...
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July 4^th 1880
Went out to the camp on this Side, in the Campel waggin, early as it was Peter had ridden from Mount Idaho Saying that the people were leaving their homes & going into Fort at Idaho. So affraid of an outbreak of these Kamiah Indians. he was bearing dispatches to the Agent who was with his company in the great camp on the river. the preachers & Elders all on this side Jimmie L & his friends on the other. Peter L was preaching when Agent & clerk came, took Felix & Bartholmew to one side & talked all the time. When services were done he & Felix for interpreter explained that at Mount Idaho & Lewiston the people were in a terrible fright & proposed that Felix would select six prominent Men from Camp & Jimmie L from [rest of page cut out]

Aug 25^th Not Sab
But So many thing have transpired. Am afraid if I do not note them will forget what to be thankful 1^st Mr. Ds long pleasant visit of a month & went home after Settling the dimentions of the house. So well pleased with his share of the comforts out of My box. Think Jorgie Will Soon be inspecting them.
2^nd Have been to the store Lewiston 75 miles away went with the Campells. Camped out all one night, that Spent in Old Tombs house at Lap. had to go there to dry our clothes & blankets after a night of rain the subonnet & umbarela did not shelter Us much. Mrs. C & I in the bed of the waggon So I have had enough of camping out. [rest of page cut off]

3^d Sab/Sep 1880
Went to Church expecting to lead a womans meeting as Billy thought the Men would be all at council at Lapwai but when the time came for Service only the leading Men were absent. The church was full the Lord stood by Me & whether it was profitable or not all things were at least reverential. Read in My Way in Nez Perce & from the ahs at the close I inferred they understood. Some of the Old men in the left hand pews called upon to pray never asked before. how little the old are cared for. Meeting at five in the evening over the river at Lowries. Rachel Reed Sitting beside Me. A wonderful day in the history of Nez Perce Women. The floor packed dear Mrs. C led Singing in english the meeting was as is usual a kind of experience Meeting.

4 Sab. Sep
James Hays preached this morning & Jimmie Lawyer afternoon. The people seem to love the Lawyers. Archie is with the rest at Pres. in looking back over My diary how plainly I can See that the Lord has been here straighening out things that gave Me So much trouble. Why do I ever get so despondent when he is So Mighty even the house business has turned quite around & the anxiety is now to have it built. Oh Lord keep Me near & all things will be well. Surely I have Seen enough in this year to keep faith Strong. bless the dear ones at home Sweet home When Mr. D comes this week May We Sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.

3^d Sab Oct
How wonderful the lord does lead Us So that We May have different Stand points for vision. I can now look out of My window & look at the little New Mission house over by the church for Just once, can look now without tears or troubled heart & Say, Yes, it is best. Strange when but the prospective house with all the tales it does & may tell, used to trouble Me So Oh! So much. How true it is "the best wells are in the Valey" What refreshing ones have been opened for Me during the last year. Lord keep them always open I will try & not keep peering out from under the protecting wing at the dangers of My Situation. Sure Surely the Lord makes the crooked things Straight. did ever any one before have So much of the visible to Strengthen faith. Oh Jesus let Me know that thou art answering prayer for the Souls of My dear ones at home, & give Me the wisdom & consecration needed for My work, put Self far away & take up My whole heart. let there be No room for one unkind bitter feeling, let Me have no will but thine & never again worry how things are to be fixed. last winter lived on potatoes, bread & one can of syrup. Now My Winter provision is all Stored away. How cold in bed, but for Mrs C. bed clothes last Winter. Now here Stands My great box ful of Warm things from loving hearts. last Winter gathered wood in the Snow Now My 19 great bags lay at the Mill waiting Mr. D directions about the cutting. My God is a kind loving Father as Well

 1^st Sab of Nov 1880
A rainy day but Jesus has been My company. how condecending & how kind & is giving Me Such rich Spiritual food through the Medium of things New & old. exposition of Genesis truth is so clear & forcible only My little head & heart cannot retain it all. How I wish the dear inner circle had it & could relish it, for Some reason, Jesus is drawing Me nearer to his great heart. What a delightful Soul refreshing & subduing interview through him I had with the loving Father one morning last week before I arose. it Seemed all day like a vision & then how much more I yearn over the Souls of loved ones in the bonds of Jesus Christ. & More & More I long to to be the means of edifying & strengthening My Women & this people. I do know that this has been a blessed place for My own Soul. As I have freely received. Open or unlose My toung Oh Lord that I may freely give. The atonement has been So fully Set before Me today. let Me Never lose Sight of the Blood or that it is the Sacrifice not the person that is accepted. Next Sab likely Sue will be in her new house. I do not know who here with Me. How loving the Lord leads My Soul along, So that I can now Say even this is best & Such a little contemptable person as Me Should have Such Marks of his care & love! it is not Me the Father Sees but his own dear Son. I want So to live to magnify his blessed name.

Dec 5^th 1880
Our Sab School was begun today although organized last Sat by Mr. Deffenbaugh. Robert did very well was much relieved by the Assist Superintendant Saying She would arraing the Girls. Poor Mary Johnston So frightened Mrs. Black Tail Eagle. no doubt a good Women but could not Say a word. Silas William & Enoch I think did very well. to My Surprise there Sat Archie. Who had been assigned the bible class of Men Oh but human nature has a thin covering here. Such jealousness & maneuvering to enthrone & establish Robert even at the expense of Archie. May the Lord come among Us this winter & do away with all this. Sue is enjoying her Sab in her new house I in the Old. Strange. Nancy & Peter are quiet & I have So much to do I have not time to feel lonely. then have these four precious little Vol of Bible exposition. hope Mr. Boyd & Mr Deffenbaugh will enjoy & profit by them. how much better I am provided for in every Way this Winter than last blessed year of trial. have found a faithfull & alsufficient God. & I trust grew under the rod
The Elders Say Carrie Must be expelled]

Dec 12^th
How little dependance to be placed in poor human nature especialy Indian nature. last Sab Sat here with Nancy & Peter in the house with Me. Today alone & wandering around for a place to sleep at nights. one night at Sues next at Mrs. C. I hummed all day yesterday trying to comfort My heart with My God. My God is here & in command & wondering if he does really intend to Make Me Stay alone with him. The old Subject of My going home was spoken of. It is not given up. Oh that the Lord would fix Some way for Me to work freely for him. Superintended the Young Sab S. today in Roberts absence but how hard to do any thing not knowing whether I am understood. Archie had a class of Girls. poor Archie he has a call to the Indian Ter 

Christmas 1880
The Lord has so led Me Step by Step all through the year that I can trust him for all the rest of.  My eyes are not so red as one year ago. & After all the grasping for power. My S is my own. When Mr D announced that any good women might enter & that I had the authority in My own hands. Oh but the Christmas tree with its little tapers was beautiful last night. What a pleasant Sight it would have been. for Brighton every child heathen & Christian got Something 157 parcels on the tree about 30 held as reserve & all used but one. & then how nice to See Archie & Robert the rivals consulting about Some name that We could not pronounce right Mrs. C on one Side of the tree while Felix Solomen & Myself on the other. the pictures cards & little presents were beautiful & So Justly divided that Billys remark to Sue was not a bit to one & $5.00 to another but all got the bit. Many an ipsus was streached out to Me Sabath Our new Sab School is doing very well the women not any more afraid than Silas his trouble is the questions. Sled procession on Christ[mas] of course with the little Brighton flags on the horses. My Women are getting on So nicely in School. Oh that I might be more faithful in delivering My message or rather the Lords.