A: The tables have been coated with an adhesive similar to that on Post It Notes™ to prevent books and papers from being blown on the floor. Just one more service from your User Friendly™ Library!

A: 1. We did have beautiful varnished oak shelves in the restrooms. Vandals (the generic type) ripped them off the walls--twice. Facilities Management gave up trying to repair them.

2. Anyone who comes to the library without pencil and paper probably cannot benefit from higher education.

A: Did they turn the dogs loose? Must not have, since you view it as a positive experience.

A: The copy machines are self-supporting, so to get more machines: Make More Copies! The Vandal Card people determine how many will have VC readers.

A: We've noticed it too--there's been a major societal attitude shift in the last five to ten years. People now feel it's their constitutional right to self-hydrate, caffinate, or victulate themselves whenever or wherever they may be. You can tell there's been a shift when mini-vans come with more cup-holders than seats.

I ascribe it to the decline of smoking. Orality has had to find new outlets, and people now attain satisfaction by sucking on a water bottle instead of a cigarette.

A: The last time this happened, we called the police, and the owner was cited. Library staff have instructions to do the same if the situation is called to our attention. Dogs may not be on campus without a leash and they may not be tethered outside buildings.

A: I can just hear the conversation:

"Do you smell something?"

"Yeah, it smells like something's burning!"

"Maybe the building's on fire-let's go put a note in the suggestion box!"

Needless to say, the smell was gone by the time the note was picked up. It was probably an overheated fluorescent light ballast.

A: The second floor punch is out for sharpening, and should be back soon. As for the fourth floor, I assume you mean in association with the lab printers. The labs are in the library, but are not a library operation, hence we don't supply them with equipment. You need to talk to Computer Services.

A: We tested the system and timed the 486 computers against a Pentium running the same searches. They ran at the same speed. The limiting factor isn't the client computer, but the Web server and the network, both of which we can't afford to upgrade.

A: No, it has the same functions as the "Old Ida", except that it doesn't display periodical holdings and reserve lists yet. Displaying periodical holdings will be included in version two, due sometime this spring. It does give access to a number of new databases that are "Web only", and not accessible through the old system.

We've kept several terminals set to the old system until the new Web version arrives.

Last Spring we held some student focus groups on library technology: their main request was for a "modern Web interface to Ida" so a "pretty face" seems important to some. The real determinant for using the new system is that most databases are migrating to Web versions, and won't be available for the "old Ida".

A: It's quite expensive to put Vandal Card readers on the copy machines. Unfortunately, even on the machines so equipped, Vandal Card usage amounts to only 10% of the total use. Because the copy service is on a "pay your own way" basis, we'd have to get a lot more Vandal Card use to justify buying more readers.

Q: This library needs more clocks. It’s hard to know what time it is unless I’m on a computer.

A: One of the missions of the university is to take you from your former existence and prepare you for work in the wider world. While you were on the farm, only sunrise and sunset were important times of the day. However, in the land beyond Spudsville, every second becomes precious. When the corporate Moloch has swallowed you up, you’ll find that you have to account for, keep track of, and probably bill every second of your eighteen –hour working day. To begin that transition, take yourself to RiteAid (or some other discount vendor) and invest in a watch. A ten-buck digital cheapie will do, although for a few bucks more you can get one with an alarm to nag you. That’s a start: the laptop, pager, and cell phone will come later. If you adapt well, you can eventually replace the Timex with a Rolex.

Q: Where are the Gay newspapers?

A:This is Idaho: you’ll find them in the closet.

Q: Why don’t you enforce the "No food and drink rules?

A: This has been one of the biggest cultural changes that libraries have had to cope with. It all started with water bottles: hundreds of large infants everywhere, all sucking on their bottles all day long, and screaming if deprived. It was a short jump to portable coffee mugs, and thermos bottles. Some libraries set up storage shelves so that people could park their oral hydrators before coming into the library, but they were eventually overwhelmed by sheer volume. And, after all, if you let in thermos bottles, what’s wrong with lunch boxes?

We figure we could enforce the no-food-or-drink rules as long as the staff didn’t do anything else or hired "Lunch Nazis" full time to frisk those entering and confiscate all forms of contraband. All this, at a time when we’re being lectured in the library media to be more welcoming, like Borders and Barnes & Noble (they sell coffee & pastries, for those who haven’t been to the city lately). We draw the line at pizza, but by and large, we’ve given up.